Both parties have been asked by a number of organisations to show up for debates across a variety of areas and the answer is always, as that great Australian statesman Tony Abbott once said, nope, nope, nope. Laura Tingle, president of the National Press Club, put it plainly: "The Press Club is a platform for national debates. We've invited the major parties to take part in debates on health, foreign policy, aged care, women and climate change. We have not been able to get the parties to agree on those debates."

I understand the ALP's shadow minister for women Tanya Plibersek was up for a debate. But as has been the case for the entirety of its term of government, the Coalition will not show up for women. Not now. Not ever. The folks at the NPC tell me so.

So, should I try to imagine a fantasy debate between the Minister for Women Marise Payne and shadow minister Plibersek? Ooooooh, hold on. It can't be Payne. She has barely said a single word about her portfolio since the day she got it.

After that, it's a tough call to choose. Should we request Amanda Stoker, the assistant minister for women? See that's tough. On any measure, she is the least appropriate choice. She's the one who attended an anti-choice rally last weekend when the vast majority of Australians support the right to for safe, legal abortions. So maybe Anne Ruston, Michaelia Cash, Karen Andrews, Linda Reynolds, Sussan Ley or Melissa Price? I dunno. The list of women's ministers - or those on some kind of super-dooper taskforce - in this government is so long yet so absent from the national discussions on what we need.

Where were those politicians when the Prime Minister refused to face women who showed up at Parliament House last March and instead said that women were lucky not to have been met with bullets? Yeah, yeah, some were in the crowd but when you have power you should wield it for good. Fine to turn up to a rally but anyone can do that - not everyone can work for legislative change.

Last year, I wrote women had nothing to celebrate but their rage. I still believe that. We have achieved next to nothing since that astonishing day when I honestly believed our united enragement would shift the public consciousness. Now, we have to wield our political engagement to get what we want (and no, I don't have faith Labor will instantly magic a utopia for women but at least it's working on key issues as are the Greens. I don't see any evidence of that among either the Liberal Party or the Nationals).

Women do not want to be babied or cajoled, ignored or bullied. They want respect, they want to be safe, they want to be paid what they are worth, they want to be safe at work, they want excellent care for their children. And behind every woman voter is a man who should now recognise he must vote in the best interests of his partner and his family. Or reap what he sows.

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So, let me give you some federal election benchmarks created by the Work + Family Roundtable, a group of eminent researchers from across Australia, led by Elizabeth Hill, associate professor at the University of Sydney and Sara Charlesworth, professor at RMIT University. This is what women need.

I asked Samantha Page from ECA if any party had it right. She said the Greens have the best policy platform because it puts children at the centre and the ALP policy is a substantial investment and will address affordability for families. She says the "cheaper childcare" line frustrates "people in the sector who want to be acknowledged as educators and teachers".

The Coalition is not up for a debate but you can have one at your own kitchen table. Ask yourself which party will best support you and your family the way you want to live your life. When you are sure, get back to me.