Willem-Alexander has been ruler of the Netherlands since 2013 when his mother, the long-reigning Queen Beatrix, abdicated.

But during an interview on Wednesday the 49 year-old refused to be drawn on whether Australia's royal family should follow suit.

Abdication is a tradition in the Netherlands – it started with his great-grandmother, he said, who felt after 50 years it was time to pass on the baton to a younger generation. This tradition means the change of monarch was not a time of mourning but of celebration, which gave him a very positive start to his position: the whole country had a big party.

It had worked very well, he said.

But it's difficult to give advice to Australia's royals because each country has its own tradition and identity, he said, politely.

Which is not to say he has no advice for the British royals.

The Duchess of Cambridge will be popping by the Netherlands next week. The king expected they would exchange tips on how to raise children in a modern royal family - he has three young daughters - how much to shield them from the outside world, how to ensure they have full lives.

This is a common topic of conversation among the European royals, he said – in Scandinavia, Spain, Belgian and Luxembourg as well as the UK and the Netherlands.

In advance of the Dutch royal family visit to Australia and New Zealand at the end of October, a small group of Antipodean journalists were invited to an audience in the lush Cherub Room at Noordeinde Palace in The Hague.

Under a big gold chandelier of electric candles, behind gold-trimmed double doors, awaited the king: blond hair neatly brushed forward, smartly dressed in the royal version of business attire: a neat suit, a shiny tie.

We sat in red upholstered chairs around a table dressed in a surprisingly drab brown tablecloth, and posed our questions as flunkies poured coffee and served a variety of tasty biscuits.

There were a few ground rules. The king cannot be quoted directly, only paraphrased – and he won't pronounce on politics.

As for how to address the king: "no protocol, but above all no mistakes", we were warned by aides.

But the king's easy manner made for an easy interview.

He said every reign has its defining moments – and his first had come early, with the death of 189 of his countrymen in the shooting down of flight MH17 – a tragedy that shocked the entire country. It came very abruptly, he said, and he met many of the families of the dead and tried to support them.

It was important that justice be done to the people affected, he said. He saw his role as providing continuity and stability, bringing people together – but justice was the most important thing in a modern state.

Migration was another source of polarisation over the last three years, in Europe broadly as well as the Netherlands in particular, he said. He uses his power to convene meetings and solve problems – it's a strong symbolic position but a big challenge, he said.

He hoped that refugees and migrants, as well as citizens, would see him as someone they can appeal to in time of need. He wants to play a role as a unifier.

But he felt that on other issues he was more limited in the causes he could push now he was king – he used to be an activist on water management and conservation, but now he takes the view it's something for a new generation to pursue.

He feels his biggest burden is that he is allowed to have an opinion but cannot voice it very often. It can be frustrating, he said.

The Netherlands' royal family is a relatively recent innovation – the Dutch republic became a kingdom in 1815, though William of Orange was the 'stadtholder', a de-facto head of state, in the 16th century. The rulers have all come from the old House of Orange-Nassau – King Willem-Alexander is the seventh.

Like the British Queen he has a key constitutional role, appointing ministers and meeting the prime minister every week. But he doesn't influence policy, and his role in forming the coalitions that generally form government is strictly circumscribed by rules and precedent.

Despite the egalitarian nature of the Dutch, there is a strong wellspring of affection for the royals – King's Day every April is a popular excuse for celebrations and much Heineken consumption.

The couple last visited Australia officially in 2006, though they have been other times – they spent a large part of their honeymoon in New Zealand and visited Sydney for the Olympics.

This is his first visit as head of state, chosen to mark 400 years to the month since Dutch explorer Dirk Hartog bumped into the West Australian coast and left behind a pewter plate.

The king is also happy to lend his aura to business ventures – a delegation of more than 90 businesses are coming on his Australian visit, from areas including agriculture and logistics.

Australia and the Netherlands share a quality in the world of being too large to be ignored but too small to be a threat, so they make good partners, the king said.

Australian visit

King Willem-Alexander and Queen Maxima arrive in Perth on Monday 31 October and travel to Canberra, Sydney and Brisbane.

They will be accompanied by foreign minister Bert Koenders. Royal itinerary highlights include:

• Perth, Monday 31 October and Tuesday 1 November: At the Western Australian Maritime Museum the King and Queen will unveil a pewter plate on loan from the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. This plate was left behind 400 years ago by Dirk Hartog as a record of his visit to Australia. They will also view the original timbers of the Batavia. On Tuesday they visit Ascot Racecourse and follow the Melbourne Cup.
• Canberra, Wednesday 2 November: After visiting the Australian War Memorial they meet PM Malcolm Turnbull and Ms Lucy Turnbull, then visit the MH17 monument. At Government House Governor-General Cosgrove will host a state lunch.
• Sydney, Wednesday 2 November and Thursday 3 November: The program in Sydney will begin with a concert at the Opera. The next day they tour the University of Sydney and Cockatoo Island.
• Brisbane, Friday 4 November: During a boat trip on the Brisbane River the King and Queen will be told about the measures taken to combat flooding. They then visit the Queensland Art Gallery.